The beginning of the damn Tuesday. The beginning of another boring damn week. The beginning of another damn quarter. Month and a half to the winter vacation. Two weeks to the Parent-Teacher Conference.

I'm in terrible mood. Well, maybe my boyfriend will be able to cheer me up. He comes over tonight, so we can finally see each other properly and talk. I miss him so much... But hey, is it fair, I didn't see him in over a week (not counting the time I saw him at Fred Meyer's, because it was just for a couple of minutes, and he was working).

Is there anything else upbeat on my mind, to cheer me up and keep me going on this "Juneau-rainy", "Juneau-dark", and "Juneau-cold" day? Probably not... I feel so bored and sad. I feel like my life is a train, and it's passing by, and I'm not on it, because I'm too slow... And there's no other trains, only that one. So while it goes quite slow I can still run to catch up. But do you see me running? No. I'm just standing there, hoping that somebody would give me a ride to the next stop. Because I'm not willing to run as fast as I can. I mean, I look at the other trains, not mine. I see people on them. Or people who are really close to them. Or people who aren't really close, but they are running as fast as they can, in high hopes to catch up. also see some people just sitting there, with their trains long gone by now, smoking. I usually meet those people on the busstops. Smoking guys, pregnant girls, and they are in High School. Or some of them dropped out. Is it the life I would want for myself? Sitting alone, waiting for the bus to come, with my baby in my arms and my cig in my mouth? No. I want to make something else out of myself. I don't know quite what yet, but I'm sure it's really different from the previous image. It's nothing like it...

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