Today was an awesome day. We dropped off Maggie at her house and then we went to Nuggetmall as a family, buy some toys for my cousins back in Ukraine, I bought an absolutely awesome choker, which my mom called a collar, but I loved it anyways. After that we had a birthday meal in a little restaurant, after which we went shopping. And when I say shopping, I mean big fat shopping. A lot of money were spent. Fred Meyers was part of our big fat shopping, so we spent quality time there. I got "Monopoly" - my all-time favorite boardgame that I didn't play for a year now. I also found a great lipstick - totally my color. And then, when we had to go, I saw Paul was working there. I went over and tried talking to him, but he was too busy working. Or just too busy period. So I just wandered off, trying to hide tears from my parents. I don't want them to know I was crying because of the guy. They wouldn't understand how incredibly special that guy is for me. Anyways, my mood was pretty good again after buying whole bunch of horror movies. Tired and hungry we went home where me and my dad decorated the cake we bought this afternoon and took some pictures. When I was through with cake me and my dad played "Monopoly" for a couple of hours. I won! Whoo-hoo! I have never won this game before and the feeling is great =) Now I'll collect all of the stuff I bought today and wander off to my room, to enjoy myself.

This day was great, because I spent it with my family. And only one thing was missing. Paul. But I am afraid I lost him forever, yet I don't want to move on. I am gonna be his "obsessed ex-girlfriend" for quite a long time. I will never be able to let him go. Because when our relationship started out he was just another guy who likes me, but with time he turned into a truly special person who helps me survive, who keeps me going, who gives me the strength to go on. Without him my soul and heart would die, living me empty and crying. I want to be with him. I need to be with him. I need him to be with me. And I need him to know how I feel about him. Not just words, I want to be able to prove it. Unless it's too late. And I am afraid it's too late to save this precious relationship...

But hey, I had a great day. Because I spent time with my famile. Because I went shopping. Because I saw the guy I love. And that is enough to make me happy.

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