I suppose dealing with your boyfriend's ex is not supposed to be easy. But it's easier when you deal with someone you know. Someone you see. Someone who is there. Not memories. Not someone who haunts my dreams. How do you deal with that?
Months, maybe even a year ago I wrote an entry about reading other people's diaries. It hurt me then, and I decided to not do it again. But it is far too tempting to know the past of someone I care for. So I'm making the same mistake over again. And yes, it hurts. It hurts to know the true feelings, the true emotions, that I wasn't really supposed to know about. So what if they broke up? They didn' t mean to. Their fate, cruel and unusual, made them do it. And they are still in love. You can't just forget about such emotions. When you say "love" you can't back down from there. When you say "to death", you want to mean it. Forever is a long time. But not for two people who shared so much together.
I'd be better off being oblivious to his past. But then again, I can't just ignore the fact that he was in love, and it never really ended.
I want to believe that I can change that.
But only time can heal the wounds.
Meanwhile I'm going through life listening to Dido's "Thank you" and trying really hard to be optimistic.

<< - >>