Ah, I feel good. Yesterday Paul called and we talked for a while. I was tearing apart between an opportunity to yell at him for ditching me, calling him a shithead and hanging up on him, OR listening to him sweetly explaining himself and believing every word he says. So I guess you already know what I did - listened and believed. Because it doesn't require much strength, and that means I still can do it, I am capable of doing it.

I talked to Shalom a lot last couple of days, and she told me that she was going to be out of town for a few days, but I realized today that I didn't listen to her talking. Because I don't remember anything she was saying. Where was I then? What was I thinking about so important that I had to interrupt our conversation with my thoughts. Hmm... I'm confused. You know what I feel? I'm confused. About everything that's going on. I just don't get it. And so off I go to school, hoping to learn something new but knowing - I won't.

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